What HER Collective Taught Me About Love, Respect & Starting Again
As I’m writing this in 2026 i’ll be turning 30 in two years.
Which has somehow got me thinking a lot more about the future, particularly the fact that I’d love to have kids one day.
But then there’s this other thing I’ve spent years building: my business. And sometimes I genuinely wonder…
How am I supposed to be a full-time mum in the future and a full-time business owner at the same time?
I already find running a business exhausting without a tiny human depending on me (however i do have two very needy rabbits).
Recently though, I’ve been meeting some incredible women who are building businesses, raising families, maintaining relationships, rebuilding their lives and still somehow finding space to be themselves.
I don’t think any of them have found the magical formula for “having it all.”
But they’ve been showing me that there are many different ways to make it work.
So I wanted to start documenting some of the women I’ve been lucky enough to meet, and the little things I’m learning from them along the way.
Welcome to a new blog category: Stories From Her
And this one made me think about something I wasn’t really expecting.
Love. Respect. And what a healthy relationship actually looks like.
Attending the HER Collective Lived Experience Event in Melbourne
I knew going into the HER Collective Lived Experience Networking Event that the day was probably going to be quite heavy.
HER Collective was created by The Skillful Mama to bring together lived-experience voices, community leaders, professionals and advocates around domestic and family violence, particularly the conversations that come after crisis, healing, rebuilding, support and connection.
But honestly, when I walked in, I felt so calm.
Firstly, the space was SO cute.
The event was hosted at Abundance & Beyond in McKinnon and everything was pink (and I love pink!), warm and welcoming.
There was also this beautiful mural on the wall that held so much meaning behind it. I loved it.
And after learning more about Abundance & Beyond, the venue felt even more fitting. Their work is centred around helping women navigate finances and property through major life changes and rebuilding their financial independence.
Thank you to the lovely Louise for opening up your space for such an important event.
We were welcomed with beautiful music by Tereza @bird.inthestudio and greeted by Brittni from The Skillful Mama, our lovely host for the day.
Ms Carmella, a lawyer and keynote speaker, was also there to greet everyone before the event was officially opened by Caroline Briggs-Martin.
Considering what we were there to talk about, everything felt incredibly warm and safe.
Sometimes We Just Need to Listen
We heard from Lilian and other strong women who generously shared their lived experiences with us.
Some of it was really difficult to hear.
There are things happening behind closed doors that you would simply never know about by looking at someone.
And I think we can get so caught up trying to give advice, fix things or find the perfect thing to say that we forget sometimes the best thing we can do is…
Listen.
Just letting someone tell their story.
I learnt a lot that day simply by doing that.
Turning Something Painful Into Something Creative
We also heard beautiful music from Eema, who shared part of her lived experience through her music.
This one really stuck with me.
Probably because I’m a creative person myself and I find it so interesting how people process life through creativity.
Photography. Music. Writing. Painting. Whatever it might be.
It doesn’t suddenly make what happened to someone a good thing.
But there is something beautiful about being able to take ownership of your own story and decide what you want to create from it.
Thank you Eema for sharing both your story and your music with us.
It Made Me Think About the Man I Have Now
Listening to the everyone inevitably made me think about my own relationships.
I’ve experienced controlling behaviour in a past relationship.
The constant questions.
What are you doing?
Why are you late?
Where are you going?
Who are you with?
Why are you doing that?
And sometimes you don’t realise how exhausting it is to constantly explain yourself until you’re with someone who doesn’t make you feel like you have to.
The man I’m with now is an incredibly patient man.
If I say no, he doesn’t get angry.
He doesn’t interrogate me about why.
He doesn’t try to convince me otherwise.
He accepts it and we go on with our day.
Obviously he can still annoy the heck out of me sometimes because he’s my partner and we’re normal human beings. It wasn’t always smooth sailing also, it took us a while to get to where we are at currently.
But through my crash outs, stressful periods, healing and the absolute chaos that sometimes comes with building a business, he has consistently been patient, loving and kind to me.
And I don’t feel controlled.
I can work.
I can travel.
I can meet people.
I can have my own friendships, especially guy friends, without being questioned.
I can build my business, without feeling like im in competition.
I can randomly decide I have another ridiculous creative idea I want to pursue.
I can still be me while also being someone’s partner.
The older I get, the more important that becomes to me.
“No” Shouldn’t Need an Explanation
One of the biggest things I walked away thinking about was actually very simple.
Respect.
Respecting another person’s boundaries.
Respecting their independence.
Respecting their body.
Respecting their decisions.
And understanding that when somebody says no, you don’t become entitled to a yes just because you’re dating them, married to them or attracted to them.
That applies to men AND women.
Being someone’s partner doesn’t give you ownership over their life or their body.
And I think we need to get better at teaching that much earlier.
What I Hope We Teach the Next Generation
Maybe this is also why I’ve been thinking about this differently as I get closer to the age where having children doesn’t feel ridiculous anymore.
If I have sons one day, I want them to understand what respect actually looks like.
Not just because I sat them down and told them to “respect women.”
But because they saw it.
I think fathers in particular have such an important opportunity to model that for their sons.
How do you respond when someone says no?
How do you speak about women when women aren’t around?
How do you treat your partner when you’re frustrated?
How do you handle rejection?
How do you respect somebody else’s independence even when you’re in a relationship with them?
Those little behaviours teach something.
And of course we should teach girls about safety, boundaries and respecting themselves too.
But I don’t think the conversation can stop at telling women what they should or shouldn’t wear.
Because clothing isn’t the issue.
Women have experienced harassment and abuse wearing every kind of clothing imaginable.
We can teach someone every possible way to protect themselves and still miss the bigger lesson:
We need to teach people to respect other people.
And at the same time, learn how to respect ourselves enough to recognise when something isn’t right.
Women Who Make It Work
I originally thought this blog post was going to be about women balancing motherhood and business.
And I’m quickly realising it’s becoming something much bigger.
Because making it work doesn’t always mean having the successful business, happy marriage, kids and perfectly organised house.
Sometimes making it work means starting again.
Sometimes it’s rebuilding.
Sometimes it’s leaving.
Sometimes it’s finding financial independence.
Sometimes it’s turning your experience into music.
Sometimes it’s learning what you don’t want your next relationship to look like.
And sometimes it’s finally finding someone who gives you enough space to completely be yourself.
I walked into HER Collective expecting a heavy day, being reminded of my past.
But that’s not what I remember most.
I remember the pink room.
The mural.
The music.
Women talking.
Women listening.
Women supporting other women.
And so many completely different stories existing together in one room.
Thank you to Brittni and The Skillful Mama for creating the HER Collective event, Louise and Abundance & Beyond for opening up such a beautiful space, the speakers and professionals who contributed, Tereza and Eema for sharing their music, Ms Carmella for the insightful presentation and most importantly, the women who trusted us enough to share parts of their lived experiences.
I might have walked into that room thinking I was there to just take content and listen other women’s stories.
But I left thinking about my own too.
And I think that’s the beautiful thing about listening.
Sometimes someone else’s story makes you understand a little more of your own.
If This Story Resonated With You
If anything in this story felt familiar to you, or made you question something happening in your own relationship, there is support available.
You don't have to wait until something feels "bad enough" before reaching out or talking to someone.
1800RESPECT is Australia's national domestic, family and sexual violence support service and is available 24/7. You can call 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732, or access online chat and video support through their website.
For those in Victoria, Safe Steps Family Violence Response Centre also provides 24/7 family and domestic violence crisis support on 1800 015 188.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call 000.
Sometimes the first step can simply be talking to someone
I love finding events around Melbourne that bring people together, start meaningful conversations and introduce me to people I probably wouldn't have crossed paths with otherwise.
If you're hosting a women's event, creative event, networking night, community gathering
or something with a story worth sharing, I'd love to hear about it.
Whether I'm there to photograph it, create content or simply experience it and share it through
Stories From Her or Found in Melbourne , feel free to reach out.
